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The secret is out! I’ve written a second edition of my book, The Elegant At Home Wedding, featuring 68 pages packed with backyard wedding advice. But how did we get here? I don’t mean me personally, I mean the wedding industry as a whole. When and where did the elevated backyard wedding come from? And more importantly, where is it going?
How We Got Here: Elevated Backyard Weddings
In the past 30 years, American weddings have changed dramatically. Previously, you would have had a simple gathering after a religious ceremony. That gathering most likely would have been at home, at the ceremony location, or at a local banquet hall. This has changed dramatically. Now, we have outdoor ceremonies led by family or friends, including personal vows and custom scripts, followed by lengthy celebrations with a full bar, multi-course meals, and a few hours of dancing.
With this in mind, the classic backyard wedding used to be a simple affair, featuring a potluck meal with disposables under pop-up tents that could blow over with a slight breeze. If this is the type of backyard wedding a couple still wants today, then it can be done on a very reasonable budget. You are taking risks with the weather and asking your family and friends to pitch in their labor. The budget for this style of backyard wedding is probably around $200/person. This style of wedding is still very common in some areas of the country. If it is all a couple has ever seen, they are likely very comfortable with this style of backyard wedding.
It is impossible to think of backyard weddings and not think of the classic 1991 movie Father of the Bride. That was a cultural touchstone where a backyard wedding was shown in a completely different light – an elegant light but also requiring a significant investment and utilizing a wedding planner.
The modern elevated backyard wedding has all the comforts and hospitable touches of a hotel wedding but in a location that does not have existing infrastructure. It would be difficult to have an elevated home wedding for less than $1000/guest – especially when you account for having a solid inclement weather plan. If there were an existing barn or other structure at the home that you could use for the reception, that would help keep the costs similar ($750+ per person) to that of an opulent hotel or venue. Couples drawn to an elevated backyard wedding want to have all the benefits of a wedding venue, and they have the budget to create that at home.
Lisa Boggs Photography
Why a Backyard Wedding
Nostalgia has been a driving factor in spending and decision-making for well over a decade now. Rather than picking a location to which you have little personal connection, why not get married in a place where you already have formative memories? Not to mention, it is likely a place you can return to again and again, to relive your wedding memories.
As well, there is a desire in American culture, implicit or explicit, to have something that no one else will have. Hosting a wedding at a private home will give a couple that one-of-a-kind event. There will be nothing else like it on Instagram or Pinterest.
Usually, the elevated backyard wedding is hosted at a home belonging to their parents. It is frequently a first home, but sometimes a second home. It often has many acres, with stunning vistas and plenty of flat land and beautiful landscaping to work with.
Usually the ceremony is in a stunning outdoor area, sometimes framed with natural or historic landscaping. The cocktail hour is often also outside, allowing guests to continue to enjoy things like being poolside or pastoral views.
A backyard wedding gives the couple free reign (barring local ordinances) to do whatever they want with as many guests as they want. Getting married at home offers a one-of-a-kind venue that no one else will ever have. And the possibility to welcome all their guests to a home is such a comforting thought.
If the wedding is at the home of Alex’s parents, then Alex’s family and friends may feel like they are returning home, to a warm and comfortable, known environment. Alex’s partner Taylor may have friends and family who have never been to this home, but will feel thrilled and honored to be welcomed into this private place. A backyard wedding evokes warmth, hospitality and community nurturing naturally, which is what ever engaged couple wants to create – regardless of their venue.
Many couples turn to home weddings because they have a larger guest list and aren’t satisfied with the wedding hotels and venues available to them. A many-acre estate and a custom tent rental allow guests the freedom to invite as many of their friends and family as they like.
Ken Pak Photography
Backyard Wedding Costs
The investment in the infrastructure is what will make your backyard wedding an elevated experience for your guests. Not just a gorgeous tent, but one with proper flooring to help protect from rain. Elegant bathroom trailers that are as large as possible to avoid lines. Ample lighting around the property so that guests and staff can walk around safely after dark. And don’t forget generators to power all these things.
Since my first backyard wedding in 2010, the biggest change is the investment in the tent and related pieces. The tent has evolved from a simple structure to a décor piece to be designed alongside your other aesthetic decisions. This includes everything from the flooring in the tent, to the lighting and other décor pieces hanging from the tent top. Wedding suppliers have caught up to this trend, and now there is knowledge and inventory out there to help make these events as chic as they are unique.
Keeping track of all the little details, such as power requirements for each wedding pro, can be a full-time job. The installation and strike logistics can be very challenging to manage. Knowing who to schedule at what time, especially if you have a limited driveway, can be daunting. None of this is relevant when you are booking a wedding hotel. This is where a professional wedding planner can be invaluable.
Elevate your home wedding by making sure your guests are taken care of from start to finish. You should provide transportation and/or valet. When guests arrive, offer them a cold drink. If there is a long walk, offer them parasols and slip-ons and provide a shoe valet. Position the restrooms in convenient places.
Additionally, surprise your guests when you can. This can be with fireworks, or a live painter doing fashion portraits, or with popsicles to enjoy after the ceremony.
Bokeh Lane Photography
Backyard Wedding Trends
For years we saw elevated backyard weddings lean into the bucolic aesthetic. This was in part to many of them using a tent or a barn as the main reception infrastructure. But tent companies are expanding their offerings, and now couples can rent structures that are more contemporary in style. This allows couples being able to execute a more modern aesthetic if they want, while in a backyard.
Internet trends are fleeting compared to the consistent growth in elevated home weddings over the past decade-plus. If anything, the desire to host an elevated backyard wedding has likely driven interest in trends such as coastal grandmother. Possibly because the wedding will be hosted at the grandmother’s coastal vacation home.
I regularly hear that couples want their wedding to feel like an elevated dinner party that they would throw at home, but don’t have the space. You can easily recreate that vibe at a wedding venue. Many venues have outdoor spaces that can be tented – sometimes, a hotel will let you tent on their grounds. There are Airbnbs you can consider as well, but be sure to read their rules carefully. Focusing on hospitality, warmth, and connection will be tantamount to making your wedding guests feel like they are at your home.
Matt Schmachtenberg Photography
I wrote the second edition of my book because I had ten more years of experience to share with you. And I hope that you find it useful. You can find it and more wedding advice in my shop.
Click to see all of our real weddings on the blog. And read more about my original ebook and how the second edition came to life.
